Mediation.
What exactly is it?
The Story of the Orange
or: How Easy It Is to Explain Mediation
How can we discover conflicts as resources for our own - personal and professional—development?
Two brothers are arguing in the kitchen over the last orange. The conflict escalates, voices get louder. Their mother joins them and tries to interfere. Her first suggestion is to split the orange fairly in half. But both brothers protest -each wants the whole orange.
Only when the mother reacts with her mediation skills, asks further questions and wants to understand what each of them need the orange for the situation immediately eases:
• One son wants to drink the juice.
• The other needs the peel for baking.
The solution is obvious: one gets the peel, the other the juice. Both receive exactly what they need - a classic Win-win-solution.
This short story illustrates what mediation is all about:
The mother - acting as the mediator - remains neutral, does not take sides, and does not impose her own solution. Instead, she asks about the parties’ underlying interests, thereby enabling a solution that is satisfying for everyone involved.
Willingness. Mediation takes place only when all parties agree to participate.
Self-responsibility. Each person speaks for herself and takes responsibility for her own contribution.
Confidentiality. Information is shared only with the consent of all participants
Openness. The more relevant information is shared, the greater the scope for positive change.
Future Orientation. The focus is on solutions and future cooperation—no blaming or looking back in anger.
Fairness. Agreed ground rules apply equally to everyone.
Principles of Mediation
Conflicts: So what for?
Conflicts are normal. They can be challenging, draining, confusing, or frightening. And it may be a natural human reflex to want to avoid or escape these unpleasant feelings.
Are there ways to use the energy bound up in conflicts in a meaningful and constructive way? How can we recognize the potential for change and improvement that lies within conflicts?
How can we discover conflicts as resources for our own - personal and professional - development?